Contributing Monkie Julia Ocean
Published on February 22, 2009
Come on, face it, if your reading this, you are most likely one of those humans, who snuck your ass into a McMansion loan, borrowed way way to much, with plans to flip that sucker. Now instead of flipping it, it’s flipping you, right into something called the Poor House! Hmm, am I right?
Your also most likely one of those office cubical grunts, who actually worked for the multi-national bloated mega banks who gave out all those worthless loans, to guys like yourself, hoping they could off load your dumbness to suckers like the bankers in Iceland. And to your bosses, you were just another number they needed to delete, so the big headed, speech vomiting U.S. Congress, would whip them out a tit, to enable them to suck the rest of us dry. I am so right, right? I thought so. So, now that you are bleeding red from every hole, you have to dump those blood sucking things you to be so smug about. Yes, I am talking about the Merc, the Bimmer, Ranger Rover, or what ever crotch stuffing device you bought to use as your vehicle.
It’s time to use that last $250 you found in the kids room to get yourself a vehicle that will set you free. Free from the pump. Free from looking cool ever again. Free from being able to pick up chicks who are endowed with perfect silicon breast. But most importantly free from ever having to shell out that gut twisting un-ending thing known as the monthly car payment. Now your cracking a smile, right!
For this type of freedom, my human friend, you’re going to have to roll up your sleeves and get on your knees, because its DIY time.
If you are thinking, you can just go out and buy yourself an electric bike, think again. The cash you stoled from the kids wont cut it. A good electric bike is freakishly pricy. The Optibike electric bike could suck $14k out of your pockets before you even buy a blinky light for it. And the amazon.com special EZip Mountain Trailz electric bike with the power of a turtle will still cost you $325, which we already established, your kids didn’t have. So your only option is to, one, Steal one of your kids bikes and add an electric or gas motor, or two, steal a bike off the street and add an electric or gas motor.
Now for the DIY. Below we monkies have posted two videos, one from a guy in the Seattle area, who made an electric bike by using a $150 mountain bike he actually bought, and some batteries from a drill set. The second video is by a guy who turned a old beach cruiser, into a modern day, gas powered micro motorcycle, using a 49cc motor by zoom bicycles, which only cost around $150 bucks. So, either option, you my human friend, will getting a free ride from here on out. And if you need to bring the kids along, go out there and do what the homeless do, and steal yourself a grocery cart, to make your own bike/family carrying wagon.
The Home Made, Drill Battery Powered Electric Bike
The Home Made Micro Gas Motor Bicylce
The Zoom Bicycle Details from likecool.com A DIY moped kit that turns your bicycles into a motorized bicycle. First you get an engine from Zoom Bicycles, each Zoom Bicycles kit includes a 49cc or 80cc 2-stroke motor, 2 L gas tank, rear wheel sprocket, muffler, chain, clutch and throttle controls. Once you’re up and running, your bike can reach maximum speeds between 30 km/h and 50 km/h, and gets up to 150 miles per gallon. The best part is that all modified you can DIY by yoursleft, the kits include all the necessary parts setting you back between $100 and $200 depending on options