I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(

mast coffee chocolate 02 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(Photographer V Blak

Let me start this post with an UPSIDE DOWN smile :( Okay now that I have that out of my system, lets focus on the title of this post: I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven. What the hell is that suppose to mean right? Well, this is what it means. I sooooo badly wanted to LOVE, I mean butterflies in my belly, love this Chocolate Bar. Why why chocolate fairy did you still my joy!

Let me start at the beginning. I was in the big NYC for a little work and a whole lot of Loving (wishful thinking I know) a few weeks ago. I started off the visit by seeing my friend Dan, who has an office just around the corner from the newish Ace Hotel in Manhattan. Yeah, that cool hip salvation army looking hotel chain. The one out of Portland Oregon. It’s an awesome place and they even have a Portland styled espresso bar just off the main lobby of the Hotel. Since we were so close, we decided to make the Ace our morning espresso destination. Wow, it did not disappoint. The entire lobby is a wifi free hang out zone, featuring a completely black 40 foot ceiling with massive roman style white columns holding up the place.

I think I must have passed out. When I woke, there was a large chunk of this dry bitter bar still stuck to my tongue.

We headed into the espresso bar and order up a few soy cappuccinos. As I am paying for our brews, what quirky little thing catches my eye on the counter? The one and only Mast Brothers Chocolate Bars. I couldn’t believe it. I just wrote a post on the Mast Brothers a week or so before heading to NYC. The post included a few amazing videos about the two brothers and their dedication to the old world craft of chocolate making. Their Brooklyn based store in the videos looked like a mini chocolate heaven to me. So, seeing these Willy Wonka type bars right there, on the counter was just too much to resist, I grabbed one and told the barista, add this to my bill. First words out of his mouth were, are you sure, they are $10. The number echoed in my head. $10 Doooollllaaarrrssssss. Time seemed to stop. Everything was in slow motion. I could hear the hiss of the steam escaping the espresso machines, the slurping sound from all the hipsters sucking down their espressos and my own breath rushing out of my lungs… and then these words leaving my lips, of course, no problem, let me have it. And oh did he! $20 or so dollars later Dan and I strolled out with two espresso’s and my new shiny heaven in a bar of Mast Brothers Espresso Dark Chocolate.

ace hotel new york city 01 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(
ace hotel new york city 02 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(
ace hotel new york city 06 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(
ace hotel new york city 07 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(

Now I didn’t just rip this thing open and start eating it. Hell no, this thing had to be opened with someone special. It had to be the right moment. Maybe after a really nice dinner or something. This thing is like a fine wine, right? You just don’t pop the cork and chug it. You open it, let it breath and nibble it. I even thought to myself, if I bring this back to enjoy with (a certain unnamed hottie), she will be all over me, I mean after tasting this chocolate perfection. I would be like a chocolate toting stud… right? Hmm well it was not to be. I did stick to my plan and opened it after a really nice dinner we shared, but when this thing hit our lips, we didn’t go all dizzy with delight… no, it was more like, can you pass me the water please, quickly!

My perfect chocolate world came crashing down around my head. I think I must have passed out. When I woke, there was a large chunk of this dry bitter bar still stuck to my tongue. Not a pretty sight and no it didn’t win over the girl. In fact after she helped me up off the floor and reached in to clear my airway, pulling the chocolate lump free from my tongue, she actually asked me to leave. I immediately passed out again. She shook me, and said something like, your sweet, but your taste is questionable. Maybe we should slow things down. How about I call you.

Damn You Mast Brothers! Well to be fair, it just might be this particular bar or this flavor or something. Maybe the rest of the bars are pure heaven. I wouldn’t know and at $10 a pop, I don’t think I will be finding out anytime soon.

If you have had a Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, chime in, leave a comment and let us know about your experiences. Maybe I am just not sophisticated enough to taste craftsmanship while its choking the life out of me.

mast coffee chocolate 03 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(
mast coffee chocolate 01 I Bought The $10 Mast Brothers Chocolate Bar, So Why Am I Not in Chocolate Heaven :(

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  • http://gliving.com G Monkie

    Molly, just read your review on the Mast Brothers latest bars.. very nice. I think I had the Dominican.. not good. I really really wanted to like it.

  • katerina

    I live in Williamsburg, go to their store regularly (where you can buy 3 bars for $20), and have to say that I absolutely adore their chocolate bars. Different bars are made with different varieties of cocoa beans, so they do have very different flavors. Some bars are very heavy and earthy, others are light and fruity. Maybe give them a second chance and try one of the light, fruity bars next time.

  • http://gliving.com V

    Katerina,

    If I am over in the Williamburg area I will make sure to checkout the store. Maybe I can get a tasting or something. But I was really upset to not like the bar at all. There is still the other half in my fridge right now. I don't even know what to do with it. :(

    What is your favorite bar?

  • katerina

    My favorite bar is the Sambirano Valley one. The chocolate is naturally very sweet, with strong berry undertones. Hope this helps.

  • Baldwin Cor

    They are only $10 when you buy them at the Ace Hotel, silly! $4 or $5 markup. But they’re hand-wrapped on hand printed paper, made of hand-cracked and winnowed cocoa. come on, of course it’s going to be expensive. this ain’t cadbury. Definitely a bitter style chocolate, so not for a milk chocolate person. The almond + sea salt is the best one!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vzo-Blak/100001817625087 Vzo Blak

    I will give them another try when I am back in NYC. A friend bought me the Almond and salt bar but they ate it before getting here to California….. Oh well.

  • Shannon

    I found some mast brothers chocolate in San Francisco and paid, not ten, but twelve dollars for the fleur de sel bar. I was so excited, and then very disappointed. I wanted the chocolate to be as amazing as the mast brothers ideology, but I was sadly let down.

  • Samson

    Was there beard hairs in the chocolate?

  • waugs

    serves you idiots right for paying $10 for a bar of chocolate.

  • emc

    Not that I think Mast Bros Chocolate is the end-all, but, in their defense: a) a bar of their chocolate costs $7 locally (expensive, but not $10 expensive), and b) the chocolate in the picture above looks distinctly ‘sweated’, like it’d gone through some severe temperature swings before hitting yr palate. You gotta give them another shot.

  • http://gliving.com V Blak

    I am in Brooklyn now. Maybe I will head over to their store and see if the other bars are better. Like I said, it might just have been that bar, but that bar was all I had.

  • Anonymous

    I just bought a few bars myself. The Fleur de sel is my favorite so far (the sea salt really brings out the flavor for me), but this is definitely a bitter style and different than most chocolate I’ve ever tasted. I also think it’s important to remember that craft chocolate, just like fine wine is an acquired taste. Now, I don’t think I have a super-refined palate or anything, but I definitely noticed the subtle flavors they listed. And each bar has its own character. That being said, I don’t feel like they are worth as much as they’re being sold for. At least not the plain chocolate and sugar ones. The sea salt added a lot of satisfaction for me, so I’m hoping their serrano pepper bar will bring something magical as well.
    Now did their marketing film put the idea in my head that these are the best chocolate bars ever, which, in turn, made me trick myself into enjoying them more? Maybe, and if so, kudos to them. I’m also a firm believer that organic and fair trade anything is always better too, so I’m just completely biased.

  • TTW

    I think it depends on which type you select. I pay $8.99 for the almond w/ sea salt and olive oil and it is pure delish! It’s almost like sex it’s so good! While the $8.99 price tag @ Whole Foods in Columbus Circle is absolutely ridiculous, I always find myself treating myself to it (weekly)…when it’s in stock! I’ve tried 2 other flavors which were ok (but I’d never buy again…either sea salt/almond/olive oil or bust!), but that is merely a matter of personal taste. The almond/sea salt/olive oil is the TRUTH! I was not a huge fan of dark chocolate until my taste buds were indulged with this almond/sea salt/olive oil/dark chocolate deliciousness. I’m hooked!!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OOTONMPN6PBGT2VV6HLB7J2AFI themirandasue

    I have been wanting a chocolate bar from the Mast Brothers ever since I first heard about them a few months ago. Soooo, when my best friend was planning to visit NYC, I urged her to check out the store. Well…. she visited the store and, being the great friend she is, brought me back the Almond/Sea Salt bar. Oh my god… This is the most amazing chocolate bar I have ever experienced. You can definitely taste the craft of what these brothers do in the chocolate. So good! I am very curious about the others, and plan on ordering some to be sent to my home in Los Angeles.

  • choco

    Agreed. I had similar hopes for the Pecan Maple Bar. Very sad. I’ve been pacing myself with it and it’s growing on me a little, but not what I was expecting. I’ll take the $2.19 Wawel 70% with cacao nibs over this any day. Still curious about some of the other flavors and will try to check them out next time I’m in Brooklyn.

  • Journeypath

     Well, I didn’t pay for the bar, thank goodness, it was given to me by a client.  I gave the bar to my husband who has never ever not liked ANY form of chocolate.  Even the worst he’ll not say a word about it, just push it away and say, ” You don’t have to buy this for me any more.”  I gave it to him for lunch and all day I waited until he arrived home from work to hear his reaction (I thought he might bring flowers for such a wonderful addition I gave him for his lunch:)  His first response as he came through the door, and yes I was waiting for him, was, “That was the worst chocolate I ever ate. I couldn’t finish the bite I took, you can just throw it away.”  When I told him a client had bought 10 bars at $10 a piece, he said, “You mean to tell me she paid $100 for that stuff?”  I tasted it myself and I totally agreed with him… Bad.

  • nutmeg

    I am a huge dark chocolate fan and was very disappointed with the Mast Brothers chocolate bar I tasted. I think it lacks a good “mouth feel,” that wonderful experience of having chocolate melt in your mouth while releasing all of its delicious flavors. The bar I tasted was too hard and dry, which I have not experienced from other high-quality bittersweet chocolate. Theo chocolates and Madagascar brands are two that come to mind that taste much better because of how they melt in you mouth — you don’t need to bite/chew them.

  • Gina

    they have the almond/sea salt at Cookbook in echo park

  • Girlbernie

    I am a slave to chocolate but when I have to talk myself ino liking a bar or piece, then I definitely know its all hype and a good marketing ploy. A great product reaches out and makes you fall in love, this definitely needed beer goggles!

  • shorely

    Never heard of the guys, but I was given a bar of Brooklyn Blend and stopped in my tracks when I bit into it — best chocolate I’ve ever had! Now I am rationing it as I’ve learned how pricey it is!

  • pokechop

    Sorry kids!!!  The hipster king’s new clothes have been a fashion “I don’t get it” for quite some time.  These two khocolate klowns are pathetic!!!

    WANKERS!!

  • Shaun9778

    I ordered 5 bars on their website. Absolutely loved them. Go great with fresh fruits. You have to go into it not expecting milk chocolate but rather real genuine chocolate. I think our culture is way too “sugar added”.

  • Crys

    You spelled “steal” wrong in the fifth line.

  • Crys

    You spelled “steal” wrong in the fifth line.

  • Itritquit

    Thanks for your blog posting! 

    I agree. I had the black truffle bar. The chocolate starts off salty and tastes fruity and a bit hard (not smooth), like it’s trying too hard. My idea of heavenly chocolate is Leonidas. Smooth and sophisticated Belgian chocolates. I even like Nestle Toll House semisweet chips better than Mast Bros. If you enjoy throwing your money down the drain to look like a Brooklyn hipster, go ahead and buy a bar.

  • Stephannanni

     Its to bad that you simply have no idea what real chocolate should taste like, I mean come on, Nestle and Leonidas damn read the ingredients everything but real cocoa …. the uneducated should not comment, just makes you look… well, rather stupid ;)

  • Curiousfishbook

    See what happens when you trust hipsters with proper/important thngs like chocolate!? No substance and all mustache. 

  • Cptcktls

    Maybe you are just to” cool”, sitting in such a” Hip” hotel drinking  SOY CAPPUCCINOS? I don’t feel that I should trust the opinion of someone who drinks that and likes it. I think you are the “Hipster” Mr. Cool. Having been raised in S.F. in the 60’s and 70’s I don’t have any use for phonies like you. 

  • http://twitter.com/czilka Christine Lee Zilka

    Mast Brothers’ Maine Sea Salt chocolate bar is awful. A year later, I still have my middle finger up in salute. I want my $10 back.

  • Nickolas Loftus

    I might point out that putting the bar ‘in the fridge’ is a terrible way to treat your chocolate, it will absolutely ruin it in a matter of hours, if not minutes.  Keeping it in a cool, dry place (not cold, just not warm either, room temp (68) or a little cooler would be best).  Be sure to enjoy it at room temp or a little warmer for the best experience.

  • Lalalanda

    Judgmental much?

  • bar cacao

    i bought their chuao bar. chuao produces arguably the best cacao on earth, so i’ve purchased every maker’s bar i can find. soooo excited. it was horrrrrible. grainy. terrible flavor. i paid more than $10 for the coveted bar, too! sounds like the maker just miiight have something to do with it!!

  • BOOMAST

    i have never posted a comment in my life! But i feel compelled to tell you that I too have been tempted by the Mast Bros. Ive been gathering up the money and strength and justification for buying a 10 dollar chocolate bar. Finally, this week, they went on sale: $6.99 at whole foods. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world…I was beyond excited! I immediatly bought the Sea Salt because I love salted chocolate bars. Um. it was the WORST EVER! Maybe i am not cool enough to appreciate a hipster chocolate bar with cool wrapping. I dont know…just glad someone else agrees.

  • Alex

    This is written very poorly. I don’t get what the hell you’re talking about or what the problem with the chocolate was. You needed a glass of water – cause the chocolate was spicy? Too bitter? Did you choke on it? What!! What was wrong!? You’re not clear at all, and your writing is far too superfluous.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.hanson.737 Thomas Hanson

    Mast brothers chocolate is, hands down, the WORST chocolate I have ever eaten in my entire life. So much hype. Big beards and fancy mustaches with hipster wrapping paper. They sell an image, not a quality product.

  • Coco

    Isn’t the topic “chocolate”? Don’t take it personally.

  • Coco

    Send it to me if you still have it. I live in Canada and it is freakin’ cold. A hot chocolate would really hit the spot.

  • foodlover

    I find their chocolate to be terrible. I’ve tried a lot of the flavors and I’m not a fan of any of them. I love dark chocolate, and even dark should be smooth. I find their chocolate bitter, gritty with a burnt after taste. I got a box of them as a gift and put them out at a party NO ONE eat them. I few nibbles here and there but I still had all ten bars at the end.

  • http://anothermagpie.tumblr.com/ Twentysomething Creative Type

    Curiousfishbook: False. Detest hipsters. Love Mast Bros chocolate.

    Dude, you’ve got the coffee flavor, which is a blend. And yes, sharp. This whole line veers toward sharp and bitter, which some like and some don’t.

    But what you want to do is read up on (or ask about, despite the dumb cabbie hats, they don’t bite) the single-source regional chocolates–it’s not about craftsmanship so much as terroir. If you like fruity flavors try Belize. If you’re a smoky/savory person go for Papua New Guinea. Latter has a bit of an alcoholic kick but neither will be as spicy and sour (and bitter) as what you’ve chosen above.

    And to prove I am not also a hipster, have a smiley..:) good luck.



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