Contributing Monkie V Ol Blak
Published on May 4, 2010
Just like the title of the site says, I am a dark twisted green juice guzzling Monkie or at least that is my goal. Right now I have the dark and twisted thing down. I have been a vegan for about 12 years and in all that time, I have never really taken my health into consideration. I am a burn the candle at both ends kind of guy. I don’t know how to not be extreme. I am famous for confusing work as living. As soon as my eyes crack open in the morning, I start my long 12, 24 or 96 hour shift. Yes, for years I did 96 hours straight, with just naps and truck loads of espresso to keep my body going. So you know my blood is all out of wack and way on the acid side. Maybe not as bad as the average pillow butt American, but pretty bad. No offense to you Pillow butts out there.
Don’t get me wrong, I eat pretty healthy, I am a vegan, you wont find any McAnything stuck in my intestines, but I don’t eat with health in mind. My diet has been increasing over the years towards raw organic whole foods, such as salads and farmer market veggies. But I still eat a good amount of cooked items, such as asian noodles, frozen corn and worst of all bags of organic corn chips. I just crave chips, salsa and guacamole. I guess my years in Texas has altered my DNA, causing my cells to scream for anything remotely mexican foodish. For some reason I just love them in a sad food bingeing bag inhaling stomach aching way. You know what I mean. You think you want to eat them, but half way through the bag, they turn on you and form a concrete lump within your stomach.
I have decided this is it, I am going to become a healthy strong athletic bodied vegan. No more concrete lump stomachs, minimal cooked foods, no more espresso (this is a huge one for me, I can already feel my hands shaking), and no more junk foods of any kind. I am going to get my PH in balance and achieve an alkaline balanced body.
This all starts with a shift in my lifestyle. I have to get away from the computer and balance my life out. I have to pry my ass out of this very comfy and oh so stylish Think Chair. I need to replace monitor screen light rays with light rays streaming down from the real sun. This means making a deal with myself. Meeting myself half way, a 50/50 stick to it deal! Half my life will be about working directly on G Living, Monkied Planet and my other green projects, the other half will be just about me. Getting myself outside, starting a permaculture garden, growing my own food, working out and most of all taking the time to learn how to make all those greenchef recipes. For me starting down this path of being healthy will start with becoming a full on Juice Head.
That’s right, a Juice Head. I feel so much better when I drink juice. I have twice before in my life started a full on green juice diet and both times I started gaining muscle, felt great, looked younger and eventually gave it up. I always end up giving up, not because the juice sucks, but because I suck. I always had juicers, which made juicing a full on job. To get one to two pints of juice a day, I would have to spend about an hour working my juicer. A few months of doing that everyday just gets old. This time I have decided to go semi pro and get a juice which can make my juicing lifestyle a reality.
In the Juicer world, that means getting a juicer which doesn’t need you to cut everything up in tiny pieces, has a huge pulp bin and has a powerful electric motor to handle any type of veggie you shove into it. The juicer I found that fit this description was the Breville 800 JEXL. A semi pro juicer made with Die-cast stainless steal, a 1000 watt motor, 2 speeds, micromesh filter and a titanium cutting blade. We already had the baby version of this juicer (Breville BJE200XL), which we used on some of the GreenChef shows, so I knew I liked the speed, but the baby version is all plastic and has a very little pulp bin. Which I tried to use, but gave up really on quickly. You can only juice a single glass before having to empty the bin.
So, the big brother Breville it is. I bought mine on Amazon for just over $200, which I thought was a pretty good deal for a professionally made juicer. The only plastic on this thing is the juice pitcher and the viewing lid. Which truthfully I wish they would also make stainless steel. Less plastic the better. I have had the juicer for a few months now and I am starting my transition. I will keep you posted as I go. I plan on getting help from the two healthiest guys I know, Brendan Brazier and Tim VanOrden. I am hoping they can ease me into running, working out and balancing my diet. Wish me luck, I am going to need it. And if you are a Pillow Butt McFood eating junky, who wishes I would choke on a carrot and drop dead. Your out of luck, I have the power of juice on my side. Maybe McFake Food will get in the business of making McFake Green juice and you can join us Juice Heads. Wouldn’t that be grand.
Until next time, this is Basil Le Pouk wishing you a very dark twisted Monkied Filled Day.