Photographer: Sayward Rebhal
Lindsay Lohan was spotted swilling it, and soon everyone and their damned Chihuahua was talking about that strange, stinky tea called kombucha. But before you could say ‘fermented mucous blob’, the potion was pulled from the shelves of every Whole Foods and health food stores across the nation. Which means those of us who depend on it can no longer find our fix! What’s a jonesing little monkey to do?! Well, we’re taking it back prohibition-style: we’re cooking up our own ‘bathtub brew’.
Kombucha can be traced to the far east, as far back as 2,000 years ago. The fizzy fermented drink is all raw and claims bragging rights on a whole slew of healthful properties, including improved digestion, increased metabolism, regulated hunger/blood sugar, body detoxification, and immune system strength. The cordial itself contains active enzymes, probiotics, amino acids, and energizing B-vitamins. A little goes a long way, and a daily dose will leave you feeling great.
Oh, Miss Lohan, what have you done? The feds got frazzled over alcohol content and now the stuff’s on lockdown. BUT, if you can get your hands on just one bottle then you’re in good shape, because you can turn it into an everlasting supply. Really, it’s very simple.